Yes, we made it. Three and a half grueling hours on a third class bus and here's our second close-up look at the ocean. Diane decides we should bargain along the wharf for the cheapest ferry ride to Isla Mujeres. A ride is secured, and with Glenn rowing and Dick bailing, the fully rubberized craft eventually makes it to the island.

Isla Mujeres is a beautiful little island just north of Cancun. We check in at the Hotel Rocamar and tour the town on foot. Then we take a cab to Garafon park which is famous for snorkeling. Diane decides to save money by renting thirty feet of garden house and a pair of motorcycle goggles from a kid standing on the shoreline. The saner members of our group rent masks, fins and snorkel tubes at the park. We stuff all of our belongings into a rental locker and head for the water.

The fish are magnificent! Yellows, greens, and blues surround our heads. A large red snapper shoots towards Dick. At the last minute, he produces a felt tip pen and writes his name on the belly of the fish in vivid green ink.

After an hour we head for shore and freshen up our commercially prepared NON-organic sun screen. Dick says that he's heard that there are barracuda in these waters. I tell him that he doesn't have to worry. They rarely bother people -- although I wouldn't want to be in the water if there was a lot of dead fish around.

Dick immediately begins sketching out a plan on the back of a paper sack. He won't show it to Diane, but I glance over his shoulder and I see that it involves tying Diane up, wrapping her neck with grouper and tossing her semiconscious body into the surf -- it's a crude sketch at best, but I get the general idea. Dick glances up and shakes his head knowingly...

Shopping on Isla is fun and Maureen goes wild bargaining like an horse trader and burning up Mexican bank notes like they were Monopoly money. I look at the Mexican bank notes and notice that they were printed by Milton Bradley.

Isla turns out to be the place where Mexico goes to eat seafood. We gorge ourselves and then go back for seconds. Dick is in a playful mood, and he spends most of the evening describing his experiences as a merchant marine.

Dick and I go fishing with hand lines on a small cabin cruiser. Manuel, the captain wishes us luck, but Dick explains that luck has nothing to do with it -- there is a fish out there with his name on it. No, Dick doesn't catch the snapper -- I do. A fight ensues and after a long struggle, the crew finally breaks us up. The captain sits us down, lectures us on the laws of the sea, asks us politely about windchill factors and then forces us to cut bait. It is clear he either respects us, or he's just amazed by the writing on the fish.

Meanwhile, the girls are off to the Isle of Contoy to see birds. I can't report on what they did or saw. I wasn't there and this is not a work of fiction. If you really must know -- ask them.

The vacation is definitely winding down, and everyone is disturbed -- at least Diane seems more disturbed than normal. Vacation time is short, but there is no shortage of seafood. We eat... and eat... and eat...

Maureen is in a playful mood, and she spends most of the evening describing her experiences in the merchant marine. 

Months earlier, Diane had flaunted her limited grasp of Spanish by suggesting that while in Cancun we should "tour a pie," which means "on foot" in Spanish. However, literalists that we are, we continue our "humor her" policy and take the pie tour right off the bat. Dick finds the lemon meringue especially impressive -- and declares it the highlight of our vacation. He immediately elects himself "pie sheriff" and tells us to pay him 100 pesos as a "fine." We decide maybe it's a good idea to humor him too.

The tourist zone of Cancun is very Caribbean and could be an island anywhere. Much of the Mexican flavor is lost, with modern hotels, pools, and the same crazy party people who were with us on the way down. As they sit in their lush rooms, or sipping a cocktail at poolside, how deprived they must feel -- having never seen Diane's side of Mexico -- the backside of the Yucatan as only Diane could present it! In fact, Diane delights in presenting her backside to bemused passers-by. It's not a pretty sight, but it is an educational experience for small children.

Last minute shopping, eating and swimming round out our day. Diane has second thoughts about passing up the claustrophobic caves at Balankanche, Maureen wishes she had bought that silver necklace, Dick has nightmares about crabgrass and Glenn hopes never to see the inside of a Mexican bus again.

Having learned their lesson last time, Diane and Dick see to it that we are at the airport a full hour before departure time. A customs officer checks our bags uneventfully, although Dick does have a hard time explaining his massive collection of "illustrated" paper bags ...

We pay our departure tax and reminisce about our wonderful vacation. Diane begins planning a trip to Mexico city. Dick discusses lawn diseases with a dentist from Venezuela. Maureen begins writing postcards. Glenn dreams about Yucatecan food.

It's amazing, but in one week we had so much fun we forgot to get tourista! There hasn't been a sick stomach among us! The Gods were with us -- even though we were unable to sacrifice Diane as planned.

45,000 feet over the ocean, Glenn casually remarks to Dick that the ocean below really looks isolated. "Why if you were stranded out there," Glenn says, "The sharks would get you long before the Coast Guard could..."

Suddenly, the color drains from Dick's face. He pushes the "call attendant button" frantically and quickly asks the stewardess for an air sickness bag.

Dick immediately begins sketching out a plan on the back of the bag. He won't show it to Diane, but I glance over his shoulder and I see that it involves pushing Diane through the plane's emergency door -- it's a crude sketch at best, but I get the general idea. Dick glances up and shakes his head knowingly...

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